By Joshua Scott Albert


Hey, how are you? I’m really happy you’re taking the time out of your busy day to read this site, The Philadelphia InquirerWe’ve won Pulitzers!

I’m also happy to inform that The Philadelphia Inquirer has added yet another domain to our roster,

Why did we do this? Well, yesterday, as you may have heard, was a historic day for the great (honestly like 75 percent of you) people of Philadelphia. We more-or-less elected civil rights lawyer Larry Krasner as our District Attorney. It’s pretty historic and will fundamentally change the way our criminal justice system will operate.

In other words: Expect crooked cops to start getting indicted!

And speaking of crooked cops, did you happen to hear what police union president John McNesby had to say about this historic moment for our city of Brotherly Love and Sisterly Affection?  He told us, The Philadelphia Inquirer, that the people who were chanting “no good cops in a racist system” at last night’s victory party for Krasner “the parasites of the city.”


So since there’s a 99 percent chance that Krasner will win in the November election and be our next DA, he’s going to likely be sparring with FOP Lodge 5 President John McNesby for the unforeseen future. So it seemed like a time good for us, The Philadelphia Inquirer, to purchase!

Don’t go to the website yet because there’s nothing there. Hence this post! Get it? Great. So tell us, beautiful parasites of Philadelphia, what should we do with

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